Flames and Coals: Leadership Lessons in Anger vs. Disappointment

The other day, I found myself in conflict with a company I’ve done business with for decades. Our dispute wasn’t monumental, but the company’s response was inflexible, bureaucratic, and dismissive of our long-standing relationship. When the conversation ended, I was angry and frustrated that years of loyalty seemed irrelevant to them.

From Crisis to Day-to-Day: Turning Emergencies into Manageable Problems

“Madam Chancellor, we have a crisis!”

Those words immediately trigger adrenaline, urgency, and sometimes panic. But here’s the truth: nobody actually solves a crisis. What we solve are problems.

Nothing is ever as good as you dream it, nor as bad as you imagine it.

I’m a major-leaguecatastrophizer. Just ask my wife. My default is to run through the absolute worst-case scenario and consider all the ways a situation could go wrong. I tell myself it’s “just being prepared,” but honestly, it’s rarely helpful. The worst-case scenario I envision never actually happens, and meanwhile, I’ve stressed myself (and everyone around me) to exhaustion.

You might lean the other way as the optimist who envisions the perfect outcome. I do this too: picturing the ideal relationship, the flawless vacation, the dream job, or the ideal project. But in the real world, nothing is perfect. Chasing perfection wastes energy and drains resources, leaving you frustrated and your organization overextended.